February 06, 2013

Slacey 0001 Interview

A short while ago I was out running some errands, cruised by my doctors office, got stuck in the waiting room and next thing ya know I bump into none other than your 2013 DirtyEast amatuer Champion Scottrude Spaid. He was in there for his weekly obesity check up, so I figured this would be the perfect time to ask a few questions and learn a little more about this four pegged son of a bitch. He wasn't having it though. As soon as I mentioned the word interview, he gave me the cold shoulder and kept reading his cooking magazines. I tried to trick him and told him I was working for BMXplus, but that didn't work. That's when I reached into my shirt pocket and pulled out two freshly rolled California fatties all the way from Minnesota. His head perked up and nostrils flared, he could smell em from the other side of the fish tank. I knew right then and there I'd get all the answers I was looking for. I sparked one of those bad boys up and before ya knew it, Scotty was inhaling answers to questions I haven't even asked yet!

Name: Scotty "smokesblunts" Spaid
Birthdate: 4/20
Hometown: Eastlake, Ohio 
Height: 420cm
Weight: 420kN
Shoe size: 420mm
Bench press: 420lbs
Running speed: 6.9mph
Riding speed: 420fpm
High jump: 420cm
Daily calorie intake: 420
Daily water intake: 420mL
Grind thickness: 420mm
Typing speed: 69 WPM
Food: BBQ

Bike company: Cinema, I love Nathan Williams tucks
Wheel company: Cinema, especially their mint green rims
Softgoods: Cinema, especially their hoodie and knit hats
Chain: Cinema, they make the best parts
Grind: Dan Lacey's ice pick/toothpicks 
Riding spot: Mentor wedge/stairs, or anywhere that involves a steezy manual to steezy 180
People to ride with: Anyone I hit up to chill or kick it with

Blunts or joints? Mad blunts
Cali Kush or Bin Ladin weed? Cali kush
Ratchet hoes or bad bitches? Bad bitches
Dongs, bongs, or both? Bongs, no dongs..(pauses) yet
Too many niggas or not enough hoes? Not enough hoes
Youporn, redtube, youjizz, or xnxx? Pink world
Longest manual? 420 feet
Longest grind? 420 inches
Longest bong rip? 420 seconds
How many joints can you roll in 5 minutes? 4 or 20, depending on how high I am
Are snitches infact bitches, and would you give them stitches? Snitches are bitches who would get stitches
2 bitches at the same damn time? I'm staying a virgin until I'm married with a woman that already has a child
Where ARE all the Caucasian women at? In my living room
If you won a Cult frame in a contest, would you replace your beautiful and perfect S&M frame with it? I'm running the damn Cult frame as a tester you butt plug.
How do you feel about your riding scene? Our riding scene is badass. Especially typoll and jeffy for mostly sitting around drinking beer
How do you feel about adult group chat and not being allowed in? Adult group chat is bullshit knowing I was an OG groupchat member 
How close has Jeffy come to molesting you? Jeffy has not come close to molest but HAS come close to me kicking his ass
Anyone you want to thank? Robbo@the Cult, Cinema, TCU, meatspin.com, DansComp, Monster energy, my dealer MilkDud, and anyone that's ever chilled or kicked it with me.

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